Olympics, Wimbledon, Sound invisibility

I don’t understand the fuss about Olympic tickets. Nobody enjoys all sports. It’s not possible to be a fan of both shooting and gymkhana (unless you’ve got a grudge against horses). It’s like wanting to go to see some music and entering a lottery where you might end up watching N-Dubz or Billy Ray Cyrus. It’s also tough to get excited about watching people being the fastest, strongest etc. I appreciate that it may have been exciting once upon a time, but come on; we’ve got CGI now. It’s just not realistic to get excited about a man running fast over a few metres when the night before you just saw a chap lift a battleship just using his MIND.

Wimbledon has started, which is a big deal for the British because it’s about the only sport left that the BBC can be bothered to get a license to show. We watch it en masse simply because there’s no other sport on. And even for people who don’t enjoy tennis there are enough cutaways of socially dysfunctional totty to keep you from turning off. There’s been an issue, I gather, regarding grunting. I say let them grunt. More than that, I say there should be an award for best grunt. Then all of the tennis players would have to add a grunt coach to their entourage. Some gnarled old barfly, a professional grunter teaching them how to spit tobacco.

There is a fuss on the BBC website about some sort of new technology for cloaking sound. I can’t quite get my head around it, but as far as I can gather you put this thing on, then no-one can hear you. I’m not sure what the applications are, apart from sneaking up on blind people or muffling your obnoxious child. Seems to me if you want to be ‘sound invisible’ you could just stay still. It’s a bit of a giveaway anyway if you’re trying to hide, audio alone won’t really cut it. ‘What’s that massive silent thing covered in egg boxes?’ ‘Oh it’s probably nothing, seeing as I can’t hear it.’