Flight Mode, Djokovic and his Poodle, DJ Hell.
On Friday, a plane was delayed at Edinburgh after someone chucked their phone off the plane.
I realise that we’re living in paranoid times, but surely if someone has thrown something off the plane, surely that just makes the plane even safer? We’re forever being told by air stewards to turn our phones off; surely they’d be delighted that someone went that extra step further and got rid of the thing. I’m also baffled as to how someone managed to actually throw a phone off the plane. They aren’t the ideal environment to subtly open a door and sneak something out. I expect it was some drunk local who’d just put their phone onto flight mode and got the wrong end of the stick, expecting the phone to sprout wings and take off to the air.
You’d have to understand the reservations of the tennis authorities. In an environment where there are tennis balls flying around as a fundamental of the game, having some trumped-up little dog chasing the ball boys isn’t going to focus the game (despite obviously being incredibly amusing). The phrase that springs immediately to mind for Mr Djokovic is ‘grow up’. He says he can’t perform without the poodle present, which leads to interesting questions about his bedroom practises. I think the best thing to do would be to let the dog in. Let it in, and go as far as having it sitting on a line judge’s lap. Then just as Djokivic unleashes a blistering ace, have the line judge hold the scraggy little pooch in the path of the ball. Djokovic will have murdered his own dog, nobody’s to blame and we can all get on with the competition without further distractions.
Did you know that Ian Wright, the footballer, is now a radio DJ? You’d probably think he wouldn’t be well suited to that. And you’d be right. His musical knowledge is only surpassed by his effortful and fit-inducing wittering. I appreciate that I would be able to just turn off the radio, but I’m a notorious rubbernecker.